Thesis - Bonny AP Eng 2

1.
Title: Budi Budiman, the Indonesian Man that can Communicate with Satan Himself by Derrel Archellian
Link: https://english12.forumotion.com/t204-audience-beliefs-values-needs-writing-derrel-12i
Thesis Statement: Satan exists and non-believers are wrong.
Claim/argument: Satan has been contacted by humans.
Evidence/reasoning: Budi Budiman is a man who frequently dreams about encountering Satan.
Comment: This article was very entertaining; I was amused by the premise and storytelling. The thesis, claim and evidence was all thoroughly presented in Derrel's article. His words in writing about the possibility of Satan's existence were quite intriguing. The only piece of criticism I have, is how informal the writing is. Using professional words and formal language can not only improve the presentation of the article, but also bring a sense of integrity to the claims.

2.
Title: Is Atlantis Hiding in Plain Sight All Along?
Link: https://english12.forumotion.com/t201-audience-beliefs-values-needs-writing-gusaimas-m-h-h-a
Thesis Statement: Atlantis is visible and located at the Sahara desert.
Claim/argument: The Eye of Sahara is actually Atlantis.
Evidence/reasoning: The death of Atlantis was dated roughly around 11,600 years ago, which coincides with the Younger Dryas, a climactic event where the Earth’s climate abruptly changed.
Comment: This article was very interesting and got me invested. The thesis, claim and evidence were all present in the article. Ago's theory, which I had not heard of, was so interesting, that I actually researched more about it. There's only one slight problem with the article. The overusage of the phrase "in addition." This redundancy disrupts the otherwise perfect flow of the article. Changing words up could easily fix this issue.

3.
Title: Javanese People are Descendants of Egyptian Magicians
Link: https://english12.forumotion.com/t202-audience-beliefs-values-and-needs-writing-2
Thesis Statement: Javanese people are descendants of Egyptian magicians.
Claim/argument: Our culture is influenced by Egyptian traders.
Evidence/reasoning: Ancient Egyptians were known to be active traders around Asia, including Indonesia, due to Hatsephut’s expedition to find the Land of Punt.
Comment: This article was well-crafted and fantastically written. The thesis, claim and evidence were brilliantly written throughout this article. Kayla's theory was quite realistic and plausible compared to the other theories. However, this article suffers a fatal flaw: The lack of any sources. Without any sources to back the evidence up, the arguments fall flat and quite unreliable.

Neat and well presented.