Argumentative Essay - Juna (12 F)

Part I

In his The Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi in His Own Words (1996), sage Ramana Maharshi said, “The explorers seek happiness in finding curiosities, discovering new lands and undergoing risks in adventures. They are thrilling. But what really is happiness? It is your true self within. Happiness is not to be sought in the external world.”


There are many ways people can be happy in this wold, and it doesn't come with a price, it comes within yourself. Using the idea of explorers who expresses their happiness by exploring undiscovered realms as way that represents an individual with their own way of expressing their happiness that has become a purpose in their life. Happiness is about being able to express a joyful moment of when you accomplish some of the things that you've wanted to do in your life. It also comes within yourself, and it does not come with a price in order to obtain the expression.

Now, what Maharshi mention here is that Happiness came from outside of our body. The reason of joy and the template does, but not the expression. If you like to play Basketball and it makes you happy then that's a joyful thought over there, what Maharshi thinks is that you hold the ball and starts playing it is the start of the happiness meter. He uses explorers as an example that defines what their happiness is based on, and from me happiness could be from many things and not always the same thing over and over again unless it is a hobby to be expressed.

Another reason about being happy is the goals you accomplish in this world, not only that but the hobbies or activities that lifts up your mood. Explorers love to explorer, teenagers like to play basketball, from there it is a certain personality that defines their happiness. Yes, that's it! Personality is another reason. If doing the things you like in this world makes you happy, that it has defined the true purpose of being the happiest person on the planet.

Happiness also represents a good attitude, if you smile and be nice to people then that's another criteria from your personality that helps define you as a happy person. The idea of being a good person is to show your joyful expression towards other people, it also gives you a spirit knowing that you've used your energy towards other people in a good manner and not doing them in the opposite direction.

In the end, I love doing things I love to do, and my purpose in this world is to bring happiness to everyone. The relation I had with Maharshi's statement is that my goal and hobby (or what I've become) is the true formula that leads me to my happiness. If you love doing things you like, then let that be a reason for you to smile whenever you're doing those things. Happiness doesn't always have to be from the things you like to do, but the things that impressed you, and don't ever lose that feeling to smile.

Part II

Rationale Scoring Part

A. Thesis
The thing about Thesis is that you always wanna summarise a theory using your thoughts based on something you see, or you could go against the argument that has been proposed by someone. I felt like I've done my best to use my own words to make up a theory hopping that it would be a similar to the main argument that has been shown to me. Having that argument is the base that helps me in understanding what my thoughts will be about based on something I've read before.

B. Evidence & Commentary
There's always something from the main argument that you want to take without having to plagiarise it, while at the same time using it to support your statement. When it comes to evidence, I might try to summarise what I got, but it will end up making it my own thoughts, or it could be an understanding I got from that statement. Sometimes if I need an evidence, I'd underline the sentence of the statement, put it into my thesis and then explain what I've got from that statement.

Commentary is mostly about giving thoughts about the statement, without having to summarise it also could be an argument that we might try to eradicate from our personal statement. Giving commentary is the same as giving a feedback, using our thoughts to describe that argument. From there, it is the base to start building the argument that we have in mind relating with the statement that we've read.


C. Sophistication
It also takes time to come up with the right words when it comes to building the argument. I always try my best to use appropriate and more powerful words in order to express this argument with a good statement I sometimes I feel like I lack with the usage of words, but I always try my best to come up with the right thought and some appropriate words to use that can help me in describing my thesis.

The 5-paragraph essay is a good approach to AP writing as it's traditional to English language arts. Be careful about the first bit or any writing because it makes a first impression: this section from the first paragraph lacks coherence:

Using the idea of explorers who expresses their happiness by exploring undiscovered realms as way that represents an individual with their own way of expressing their happiness that has become a purpose in their life.

In part 2 you want to give yourself a score out of 6 points.