Cohesive Device - Juna (12 F)

Part I

Cohesive Device Categories

Headings	Cohesive Devices
Sequencing	Next, Then, Nevertheless, Thus, However
Illustrating	For Example
Adding	Furthermore, Also, Hence, What is more
Highlighting	If, Provide That, In the case of
Summarising	Above all
Qualifying	Because, Equally, Unless
Transition	Furthermore, Conversely
Comparing	Rather
Emphasising	Namely, Mainly, Moreover
Exemplification	Such as, Admittedly, Subsequently
Contrasting	Likewise, Turning to
Reformulating	In other words, In plain English, Thirdly

I think I messed up sorting the words based on their categories

Part II

Cohesive Devices in the Article

But they aren’t optional; we have to ask them, every time.

that is, the chance of having a major depressive episode over the course of a year

in which the same structured questions are asked every year.

Furthermore, when 18- to 25-year-olds were surveyed

So it appears to be increasing in the population from 12 to 20.

Neither could it be accounted for by looking at household composition

second only to accidents,

as opposed to the incidence of depression

He raised concerns, in particular, about the impact of electronic media on adolescents.

Over all, Dr. Mojtabai said, we need more information about whether there really is a trend here, and much more information about the teenagers’ lives.

Part III

Add cohesive devices, and reorder as necessary the following statements to form a coherent short essay.

1. Dr. Robert Epstein is the author of the book Teen 2.0.
Correction: Dr. Robert Epstein is an American Psychologist, likewise he is also the author of the book Teen 2.0

2. World Mental Health Day was earlier this week.
Correction: World Mental Health Day was earlier this week, therefore we encourage citizens to spread awareness.

3. Freedom may be the best medicine.
Correction: Freedom may be the best medicine, like for example refugees.

4. Jake, describes his incapacitating school-related anxiety that began in his junior year of high school and reached a breaking point when was 17, “I refused to go to school and curled up on the floor.”
Correction: "I refused to go to school and curled up on the floor" in other words Jake has been through anxiety in his junior high school year at the age of 17

5. Jake spent time at a residential treatment facility in New Hampshire.
Correction: Furthermore, Jake spent time at a residential treatment facility in New Hampshire.

6. Jake got through his senior year of high school and into college, where his anxiety has largely disappeared.
Correction: Jake's anxiety disappeared because of his time in High School and into College.

7. Designed to be fully immersed in real-world experiences and productive work, dictating their own thoughts and actions, and surrounded by adult mentors, teenagers are instead cut-off and controlled.
Correction: Teenagers are instead cut-off and controlled, providing that is is designed to be fully immersed in real-world experiences and productive work, while dictating their own thoughts and actions, and surrounded by adult mentors.

8. Jake’s anxiety lessened as he left high school and went on to college, where he gained more freedom and more personal control over his schedule, his classes, and his social life.
Correction: Jake's anxiety has decreased when he left high school and went on to college therefore he gained freedom and personal control over his schedule, classes, and social life.

9. Epstein suggests that much teenage angst results from the “infantilization of teens” as they are confined and enclosed for much of their adolescence, and their actions and thoughts are controlled by others.
Correction: Epstein stated that teen angst results from infantilization of teens, subsequently as they're confined and enclosed with their adolescence, action, and thoughts controlled by others.

10. “Driven by evolutionary imperatives established thousands of years ago, the main need a teenager has is to become productive and independent,” Epstein writes. “After puberty, if we pretend teens are still children, they will be unable to meet their most fundamental needs, causing some teens great distress.”
Correction: "Driven by evolutionary imperatives established thousands of years ago, the main need a teenager has is to become productive and independent" Furthermore Epstein continues "After puberty, if we pretend teens are still children, they will be unable to meet their most fundamental needs, causing some teens great distress"

11. Enclosing young people in compulsory schooling environments for most of their teenage years severely restricts their freedom and challenges their evolutionary adaptability.
Correction: Enclosing young people in compulsory schooling environments for most of their teenage years severely restricts their freedom and challenges their evolutionary adaptability. Therefore, teenagers must be aware as they're about to enter the adult world..

12. Jake’s anxiety lessened as he left high school and went on to college, where he gained more freedom and more personal control over his schedule, his classes, and his social life.
Correction: Jake's anxiety has decreased when he left high school and went on to college therefore he gained freedom and personal control over his schedule, classes, and social life. (Same as number

Bump this thread once you've completed Part II and III...

Completed I see...